Jan 7, 2011

His Nose Knows

Jake had large features - larger than the average bear anyway. Somehow they all worked together on his face and he was a fairly attractive man. I've often seen young children with features like his and thought to myself, "JESUS CHRIST! That's one ugly kid!" But 9 times out of 10, those kids grow into their features and usually turn out to be quite handsome or beautiful - it just takes time.

So, yes, Jake had big ears, a strong cleft chin as well as a large cleft nose. His nose was probably the first thing I noticed about him when we met... and as it turns out, the last thing I remember about him as well. I've seen a lot of people with cleft chins, but not the nose as well; it was pretty unique.

We got intimate fairly quickly, of course... it's how I roll... straight into bed. I don't know if it was the chemistry or something completely indescribable but Jake had total control over my senses. I attempted to take mental notes but I never once noticed anything out of the ordinary; no special twists or shakes or anything. My body is usually a little stubborn and it takes a bit of elbow grease to get me to climax - even idiot boy, however good at it that he was, still took him about 20 minutes or so to get the job done.

Jake's easiest effort (and a personal record I don't think I could possibly break) was about 10 seconds. TEN FUCKING SECONDS... and you know what he did? Rubbed that sexy cleft nose against my clitoris, probably, umm, twice? He slowly went up, then down and on his way back up again, I was D-O-N-E and slightly suffering from conflicting feelings of ecstasy and shock.

He actually gave me a dirty look and thought I was faking it. No way honey! I never give out unearned credit, and even if I did, it sure as hell wouldn't have been after only 10 seconds! PU-LEASE.

I don't think I was in love with him more than I was in love with his nose; that incredibly fabulous nose. One night while he was sleeping, I sketched his nose - and I recently found that sketchbook, which is what jogged loose this fantastic tidbit in the On-going History of My Sexography.

What more can I say? The nose knows... aaaaand then he took me back to the special cafĂ© where we first met... to dump me... but that's a story I've already told. Good times, people!


  1. First, the breakup story was AWFUL. Who does that? Nobody in their right mind should take someone to a special place to dump them only to have to drive them back to their car. Boys are dumb.

    And second. I can't say I've ever had a nose get me off.

  2. Figures...finally find a great nose and it dumps you. Good news...I got dumped a million times until one time I didn't. Still married to him.

  3. Why would anyone fake it? That would be such a waste.

  4. Everytime I come over her you have me digging in the crates! I just read the break up story..(what an ass) and now am back over here to say.. DAYYYUM 10 seconds! hmmmmm lol

  5. Well...at least the nose is good for something! And I bet he knows it, too!

  6. I wasn't expecting him to be cafe-break-up boy!!! Wow!
    What a nose!

  7. lol, unearned credit!
    so he basically cheated by using his nose. lol

    go get your award on my page whore bag.


  8. What a story and what a nose!!!
    I'm new friend & follower, found you on a blog hop for Sunday. Have a fabulous day!



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