May 21, 2012

I will soon be rolling in it...

Whoa! I just got back from three long-ass fucking days away with the family. (I realize if I dashed that differently, it would have been "three long ass-fucking days", but that is just to illustrate to everyone just how squirrelly my brain is right now.)

Plus, I don't do that, remember? 
Ahem.

So, last week my grandmother called me to tell me she had some money for me. She said it was specifically to be used for gardening supplies. Before she went into the retirement home, I would go to their home every May long weekend and help do all their spring planting. Yes, yes, aren't I a sweet granddaughter? Please try not to gag on all my sugar, okay?

I'm not a complete selfish bitch and I didn't go "just" because she mentioned money - although I'm sure I'd run faster if it was dangled in front of me with a fishing rod. Forget the damn carrot! I went to visit because it was Mother's Day as well, so I was multitasking.

And here's the money I got...


Not. Fucking. Kidding.

Did you count it? It's Nine dollars...

AND TWO PENCE.

I can't make shit up like that even if I tried. Comedy gold. Screw gardening! I'm going to keep this for the boys' college fund. Isn't copper in demand these days?

Anyhow, thanks Grandma. You always know just what I need.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Also, if you like jewellery (or have a special someone who does) stop by Multitasking Mumma to enter a contest to win some FROM ME. That's right... you heard me! I've been making some pendants and earrings along with a friend of mine, because apparently I need MORE to do with my time.

CHECK IT OUT! I MADE IT ESPECIALLY FOR YOU BLOGOPHILES :)

xox


23 comments:

  1. Is this the same Grandma who gave you a bag of nuts and a cassette tape?

    ReplyDelete
  2. HAHAHAHA. Old people are so funny. Don't spend that all in one place, mmkay?

    ReplyDelete
  3. When I was in college (late 90's / early 2000's) I would do odd jobs for people in my neighborhood. I remember an old lady asking for her raingutters cleaned (insert porno music, haha).

    I was on her roof for three and a half hours, scraping and digging out 5-6 years of leaves and gunk. She paid me 50 cents, and smiled when she began telling me how much money that was...

    ReplyDelete
  4. haha, that's sweet, and it's good that you're putting them in the piggy bank. Kids love change. My mom once let me count her pennies and take them to the bank. one time I got five dollars!

    ReplyDelete
  5. YOU'RE squirrelly?? As soon as I read that first sentence, I was all set with a snarky "watch where you place the hyphen," but you already picked up on it.
    I guess we're birds of a feather.
    A good defense against wiseguys is a well-played offense.
    Nicely done!
    By the way, ass fucking probably woulda gotten you more than 9 dollars.
    And you wouldn't have had to get your hands dirty.

    ReplyDelete
  6. @Rebecca

    One in the same. YES :)

    @Al

    Tweet, tweet, my friend.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Don't spend it all in one place, dearie. Especially for long-ass-fucking.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Gmom is clearly a big spender. Enjoy treating yourself. :)

    Love the "little bit naughty" necklace. Of course I'm more than a little bit so wearing it would be misleading. hehe.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Thanks for having the giveaway! I LOVE the shop and I am still in awe of your talent!

    ReplyDelete
  10. I should also add that
    A) She completely has her "wits" about her.
    B) We've gone to get supplies every year and usually spend over $100 minimum.
    C) She's just being a pain in the ass - I think she does it to entertain herself, because she gave me the EVILEST laugh when she gave the bag of pennies to me.

    For real.

    ReplyDelete
  11. I lost my shit in the first sentence or two. Three long ass-fucking days are like 12 long regular days, no ass fucking. So yea. Long time.

    I think it's SWEET that she gave you money you can use in Canada and money you can use in the States. Sounds like an International Grandma of Mystery to me.

    You just gave me a great idea. I don't have anything to give my brother/sister for their graduation. I'm just going to throw them a few bob, a few quid, and a few euros and let them sort it out. They'll never get over to Europe so they're going to be super stoked, I'm sure.

    Next time you go over to grandmas just plant some dandelions and say what? That's how they do it nowadays GRANDMA OF INTERNATIONAL MYSTERY!!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Canada? PENCE?!
    Oh no, Pish, you DID NOT!

    Nice post, Lady E.

    ReplyDelete
  13. hahahahahaha. You mean Canadians have real dollars like a real country? They don't have shillings? I'm pretty sure they do. Also? ha'pennies. hahahahaha. don't act like your money's not weird. That is a picture of tuppence! Y'all live in Victorian Engla-France.

    No offense. I mean I live in honky-tonk yee-haw let's get them things and shoot 'em bible belt voted for rick-bloody-santorum middle of nowhere joe six pack small town america, so kill me now please.

    I want to move to Mexico where there are so many grandmas and also pesos. Now that's real money. 100 million pesos to the dollar, is that how it works? That's like 48 million Canadian pence. hahahaha.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We have funky animal money, because no presidents, OK? Who could hate a beaver or a polar bear?
      Some PMS get on our plastic money, but no one is even taught who Laurier or Diefenbaker are any more, anyway.
      So, in conclusion, animal money.

      Delete
  14. And ps I didn't say pence she did, I was saying bob and pound and euro because that is what I have from LIVING IN ENGLAND you goob-a-tron. Sigh. Canadians. What're you gonna do.





    Eh?

    ReplyDelete
  15. That IS a pence, pictured there, very far from home. Nothing to do with us, thank you very much. Look at the silly feathers on that. Only a nation with an ancient love/hate relationship with the French would design that.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Hahaha - Yes, it's not Canadian currency. I think we stopped using UK money after 1867... but I'm no historian.

    ReplyDelete
  17. This post cracked me up. I guess when you get old you're given carte blanche to screw with people. I'm looking forward to that.

    ReplyDelete
  18. HAHAHAHAHA.

    I love your grandma.

    Truly.

    ReplyDelete
  19. This is HYSTERICAL! I love old people and your grandmother sounds lovely. :) Happy planting!

    ReplyDelete
  20. Your grandma is cool with that idea! :D

    ReplyDelete
  21. Got the gardening supplies today - it came to $83... so... yeah.

    ReplyDelete

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.