Apr 1, 2013

Breaking News from Crazytown

So, there's a reason I've been a bit absent these days, and now I can finally tell you.

I'm having Gerard Butler's love child. It's OK. My husband knows and he's agreed to raise it as his own. Isn't that amazing of him?


Okay, so I'm kind of joking. I bet y'all were totally fooled, RIGHT? Ahem.

But, there is some truth to my bullshit.

I'm having baby number three.

Oops.

Hold me.

It's been a bumpy ride so far; pregnancy sucks, yo.

I shall leave you with the words of my beloved grandmother when I told her the news:

"You're pregnant? Well, that's what happens when you let him stick his dick in you."

You think I'm kidding, but I'm totally not.

Oooh. And by the way, you're a fan of my granny, you can follow her on Twitter to hear all her other gems. *wink wink*

Good times.

Fuck.


25 comments:

  1. It isn't mine. So don't look at me.

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  2. Bonus babies are bonus the fun! xoxoxoxo Lady E. Way to 'slip' this in here on a late Sunday holiday- no worries- I'll be sure to share it.

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  3. BWhahaha ok I followed her and congrats on the baby.

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  4. @Brandon

    Awe. Well, if it WAS yours, it'd be cuter than Gerard's, I'm sure of it :)

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  5. Congratulations, Lady E!!!!!

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  6. So happy for YOU! Happier still that it isn't me...

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  7. Now I can offically say congratulations! You and Gerard sure do make a beautiful baby.

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  8. Woo hoo! Congrats!!!!!!!

    Just think of all the blog fodder this will give you. HA!!!

    Take care! xo

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  9. Since today is April 1st I have to wait until tomorrow to actually say congratulations. Everything announced on this date I assume is fake. Which was really unfortunate when my bestie's grandfather died on April 1st a few years ago.

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  10. @Katsidhe
    Ooh, I just laughed at that. Terrible. So sad & awkward.

    My pregnancy is real. That it's Gerard Butler's baby is false . . . sadly. lol

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  11. I could have used your grandmother's gentle sense of how the world works growing up. Instead all I got was a book from my Dad with black and white line art that showed where I could expect hair and other sorts of things I had already learned.

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  12. @Roger

    If it makes you feel any better, her son (my father) still didn't know where babies came from when he was 18 years old. He wasn't even given a book; he was just told that when a married couple wants a baby, they pray to God and then they will get one if they deserve it.

    I guess her new honest take has come through with age . . . ? Ahem.

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  13. I wish your grandma was my grandma.

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  14. Jeez. I can't believe I totally missed this. So it's really true and not an April Fool then?

    Congrats - you crazy fool!

    p.s. I think I love your grandmother

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  15. Oh, my LORD!!! Congratulations! And also, bahahahahaha~!

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  16. Ok well firstly, congratulations or commiserations, whichever but eventually you'll love this baby nugget you're making... second of all your "granny " is a very wise woman... Listen to her and thirdly, I'm now following her and heeding her advice..take of that what you will :)

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  17. I'm just seeing this now...CONGRATULATIONS SWEETIE!!!!!

    kAREN

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  18. I'm so way behind - totally missed this! And boy am I glad I didn't miss anything else for several months. Not that I'm not THRILLED for you! But three is definitely not MY magic number.

    Maybe I should just stick with OMG! Congratulations!

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